My previous post probably left most of you wondering what the point was.
Simply put I was indirectly stating my “Hard Thing”.
My family recently joined a baptist church and upon doing that, I was thrown out of my comfort zone. Affiliating ourselves with the church is not in and of itself hard. The ramifications of that decision, however, is what has turned into my seemingly impossible “hard thing”.
For the first time four weeks ago, I found myself doing something I had been told would never happen. I was in a classroom with about one hundred youths ages 12 to 18. each week, chatter about their latest boyfriend, and last night's football game escalates to an almost intolerable level. I had been told to be there to give a different view and in a sense regenerate the culture. I wasn't ready, but I went anyway.
“But I listened when You said to go
And I set out in spite of my fears
About truth mixed with my imperfection
And the question of what to say when I got here... What should I tell them when
They're thirsty Lord
My cup is empty Lord
Come and lead me here in this place
Cuz I'm honest, yeah, but I'm unprepared
And I'm just plain afraid ”(emphasis mine)
Those verses from “What Should I Tell Them” sums up what I've been facing. The difference is they're not thirsty and my cup isn't quite empty.
The discussions held in the small groups are mere milk, yet no one yearns for more.
I offer meat as often as possible, yet my voice is constantly drowned out – often times glossed over or laughed at. My attempts at trying to show a different angle are blocked at every turn, I seemingly fail each time.
Failure – the thing that scares me more than apathy, a democrat controlled congress, and “normal” guys combined; The one thing that can make me cry every time it strikes. Yet, I seem to repeat it every Sunday morning when my attempts to speak are blocked.
Out side the small group I am drowned out by the chatter and cliques that have been formed. There's no way to jump into a conversation, they seem to speak in Greek.
My Hard thing is two-fold: 1. the constant reminder of blocked attempts and 2. trying to get through the barrier.
My hard thing cannot and will not overcome me, I need to overcome it. My hard thing cannot remain impossible, at some point a hole will be made in it's impervious structure, and it shall be overcome.